Suicidal
by Shipping Is My Obsession
Summary: "You are my world..." is what he said... but does he mean it? (sebaciel) (sebasciel) (CielxSebastian) (SebastianxCiel) Ciel has been giving up more and more each day... How much longer until he truly does give up?


This is my OTP :3 I love them so much! well... warning: ummm... yaoi. duh

Alois: CIEL PHANTOMHIVE IS MINE!

Me: (facepalm) don't worry... AloCiel is my second OTP by far

Alois: (claps) YES! Okay now write this dumb thing so then I can have my Ciel~!

Ciel:... you wouldn't do this would you...?

Disclaimer: obviously I don't own Black Butler because Alois would be alive, Sebby and Ciel would be married, Lizzy would be dead, there would be 15 seasons right now, and Grell would be the hot/gay uncle I'll, sadly, never have T.T

-X-

"Ugh... Sebastian get that ridiculous hat off of me!" Ciel sat there pouting with a Santa hat on glaring at his butler. "But, my lord," Sebastian said trying to hold back a laugh, "it suits you so well." Sebastian said with a chuckle making Ciel feel embarrassed and he started to blush. "I don't understand what you're all happy about..." Ciel said looking down, "there's nothing to be happy about..." Sebastian smiled softly at his young master, "Young master, tomorrow is your birthday," he said with a smile, wrapping an arm around Ciel's waist making him blush.

((Ciel's POV))

"And that means Christmas is also coming up." Sebastian said smiling at me. He looked so perfect... so happy... does he even have emotions? He's a demon... "My birthday is nothing but a mistake..." I said with a frown, "the world would be better without me..." Sebastian's sweet smile turned into a frown immediately. We sat there looking at each other for awhile until he said, "Young master, that's not true." If it wasn't true why did it take him so long?

"Oh really now Sebastian?" I said standing up walking to my room and opening thre door then walking in. I looked back at Sebastian from my room and said, "It wouldn't have took that long to respond if it did." I closed the door and lay down on my bed. "If he's only in it for my soul then why does he act like this?" I said talking to myself then I heard a knock on my door.

((Sebastian's POV))

I waited outside of young master's door waiting for him to open it. "Come in." I heard him say. I open the door and saw him laying on his bed. I couldn't help but smile at him. It was truly a beautiful sight, to everyone else they'd think he just look normal but to me, it was a beautiful image. He lay there with the eye that had held our contract covered, he was still dressed in his normal clothes... But it wasn't that...

Master yawned then greeted me. "Hello Sebastian," he said stretching his pale arms. "My lord, you must be exhausted. It's time we get you ready for bed." I said smiling at him. He looked up at me with a small, fake, smile on his face. I approached him and did the normal routine. I undressed him and got him into his oversized nightshirt. But something was different... He lay back down and closed his eyes. I made my way towards the door but turned back around when I heard his voice. "Sebastian... please stay here..." 'Please'? That's not a word he randomly throws around...

((Narrator POV))

Sebastian lay down next to Ciel and Ciel unconsciously snuggled up to Sebastian. Sebastian smiled. 'This is very new behavior the young master has developed...' Sebastian thought looking at Ciel lift an arm and draped it over Sebastian. Sebastian finally noticed what has been bothering himself... He saw cuts running all along Ciel's arm. Up and down, side to side, everywhere...

-X-

Sebast had sent Tanaka and the servants out on holiday for two weeks. enough time to talk to Ciel... He went to Ciel's room with a scone and his morning tea. He opened the door to see that he was still asleep. He smiled a little and put his breakfast on the table next to him and left the room.

About what seemed like two hours later Ciel woke up. He looked to the side and saw his breakfast and sat up. He smiled at how Sebastian always knew that was the only thing he really wanted in the morning. He ate his breakfast but leaving a little left, he wasn't very hungry. He went to the dining room having a feeling that's where Sebastian would be. But to his surprise he wasn't in there so he went to the study.

Sebastian had two chairs set out. One on one side of the desk and the second one on the other side. Ciel looked at the door and he saw Sebastian walk in. "Good morning, Young Master. You may take a seat." Sebastian said pulling out a chair for Ciel. Ciel sat down and Sebastian sat across.

"What are we doing exactly?" Ciel said lifting an eyebrow. "You are going to have a counseling session this morning." Sebastian said putting his elbows on the desk and put his face in his hands then looked down angrily. "COUNSELING!?" Ciel said slamming his hands on the desk and standing up. "WHY?! THERE'S NO REASON!" he snapped. "THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON!" Sebastian snapped back and grabbed Ciel's wrist then yanked him down to make him sit back down.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about..." Sebastian said with a tone that sounded like anger and sadness. Ciel shook his head. "... No, Sebastian... I really don't know..." Sebastian frowned then took Ciel's wrist again and pulled up Ciel's sleeve. "Now do you know?!" Sebastian yelled again. Ciel gulped. 'I didn't think anyone would even notice...' he thought then looked at Sebastian. "It's none of your business..." he said rolling his sleeve back down. "I have every right to-" Ciel cut Sebastian off by slapping him. "I'm fine!" he yelled then he ran out of the room and back to his and slammed the door.

Ciel lay down on his bed and started to sob silently. 'Why is he even worried...?' Ciel continued to sob then he heard Sebastian's footsteps and a knock on his door. Sebastian was getting more angry by the second.

Sebastian just knocked again and he could still hear Ciel crying. He opened the door and sat on Ciel's bed next to him. Ciel looked cute to him... except for him crying. His hair was still messy, he was still in his nightshirt, and he had his head buried in his pillow.

Ciel felt something warm wrap around him and lift him up to where he was in a sitting position. He felt the pair of arms wrap around him tighter then he snuggled up to the owner of those arms. Sebastian hugged him tighter then whisper in Ciel's ear' "Why would you ever EVER do this to yourself, master?" Ciel started to sob even more and then hugged Sebastian back. "I don't want to talk about it... You wouldn't understand... No one would..."

Sebastian frowned. "Master..." "I have a name." Sebastian's eyes widened. "Ciel..." he sighed. "Why would you do this to yourself?" Ciel sighed. "Sebastian...?"

Silence.

Ciel repeated. "Sebastian?"

"Yes, my- Ciel?" He said looking at Ciel and saw more tears forming in his eyes. "I don't want to marry Elizabeth..." Sebastian pulled him into an embrace. "I really don't..." he started to cry again. "Mas- Ciel, I guaranteed we can have something arranged..." he smiled at Ciel and tilted his chin up. "What brought Elizabeth up in the first place?" Ciel blushed a little at Sebastian's touch. Sebastian wiped the tears from Ciel's face. Ciel wish it could just stay like this. Sebastian had such good looks... his eyes were a beautiful shade of red it's like you could just- Ciel blushed again. "Master, your-" Ciel smirked a little. "That's my name?" "Of course not." Sebastian smiled but then he looked at Ciel seriously.

****"You still haven't explained." Ciel looked down at his own arms frowning. "I hate my life..." Sebastian sat there staring at him wide eyed... "Sometimes I wish you would hurry up and take my soul..." Sebastian looked at Ciel in disbelieve. "... I don't understand...!" Ciel started to cry again he then grabbed Sebastian by the shirt. "Sebastian, why won't you kill me?! I don't und-" Sebastian put a finger to Ciel's lips. "Ciel Phantomhive, I wouldn't harm you for the world," he said as he pulled Ciel into another hug, "you are my _**world**_..."

-X-

Me: It's my first one don't judge . well comment or private message me if you want me to continue (which I probably will no matter what X3)


End file.
